Update on June 16, 2020

I posted this several weeks ago.  I continue to publish it for those who may have missed it.  I also continue to post it because my granddaughter is still expressing her fear.  Good for her.  We are enjoying a visit with them this week while we social distance in our home and wear masks and wash our hands a lot.  We have chalkboards in our home on doors and such and yesterday, my granddaughter wrote on one of them:

I’m scared for my black family’s life.  Black Lives Matter.
I shouldn’t be scared because I am 10.

What wisdom.  What is happening now is amazing in so many ways.  I feel hope.  I also deeply feel the grief our family is experiencing.  Best friends have left, family members don’t understand and it brings others to their knees.  It is a deep wound, exposed and while it helps move to healing, the grief is incapacitating at times.  It is why I was unable to send the newsletter out yesterday.  I was incapable.

The love and support of those in this community has been beyond description.  Thank you.

I was watching an interview on TV last night and a leader was saying that white people in her circle are already saying that 3 weeks of thinking of race is exhausting and she is seeing them stepping away.  Our grandchildren can’t step away.  The fear and grief that accompanies their skin color doesn’t allow for that.

Daily I examine the ways I am clueless about my own blindness of my white privilege.  Sigh.  I have so far to go.

There is a lot of work to do and we can and are doing it.  Together we can.

So many others are experiencing this as well and it is comforting when we share our grief and support each other.  A friend of ours has a family make-up similar to ours and she shared a beautiful story I have repeated often and to my grandchildren.

Almost 3 year old: Mommy is the world very sad right now?
Mother: Yes, baby.
Almost 3 year old: How can we help the world not be sad, Mommy?
Mother: We gotta love people, honey. We gotta love everybody we can love.

Kim and John


I write this post with an immense amount of grief in my heart for the murder of George Floyd on a street of our country by those who swore to protect and serve.  It has honestly been hard for John and me to function.  Half of our family is black and the awakenings and changes in all of our lives have been enormous.  As is usually the case, with immense pain comes immense healing, immense love and there is no doubt we live in a loving community.

There is no doubt this is extremely uncomfortable.  If I am not uncomfortable, I am not doing enough.  Things will not change if WE stay inside our comfort.

Our work has always been about equity and solidarity.  Moving to Conservers has worked together for years studying to find how our consumption habits can impact others.  We have had many conversations as a group to find ways to change our habits once we realize the impact they have on others.  We take action, sometimes as a group and sometimes as individuals.

Sometimes our action is to take no action.  That is a choice and a decision.

This is not one of those times.

One friend told me they have faith in our youth to improve the future.  I told him I have faith in everyone right now.  This the future.  It is up to us.

With love and solidarity,

Kim and John